Fly in the milk

There’s a Romanian expression “te bagi ca musca-n lapte”, loosely translated to “you stick your nose where it doesn’t belong” like a fly in milk.

It’s an expression I grew up with and took to heart because I know folks don’t like me to get in their business. Even though I generally like to help them.

I’ve learned that sometimes (most of the time) it’s better to let things go and contribute when asked. It’s one of my core philosophies and I haven’t yet gotten any bad experiences by following along with it.

Apparently (probably mostly American) neurotypicals don’t like it when you tell them to mind their own business and not interfere in other people’s relationships, especially when it comes to missing information.

Then they wonder why their lives are full of drama and why some family member went no contact with them or why their friends suck (your friends can’t suck if you don’t have any friends — OK, that’s just a bit of dark humor because I’m stuck in a village in a country where I barely speak the language, not even taking into account the neurodivergence).

But I guess they need drama to fuel their lives, otherwise what do they do with themselves for all these empty hours during each day? There are tens of thousands of days in one’s life, if one is lucky, and most of that time is spent sticking their noses where they don’t belong.

No, it is not your job to inform your sibling of their partner’s supposed disability. It’s something they have to discuss together, that they need to explore together, something that they can share with you if necessary.

It’s not your place to play the detective to find out if your sibling’s partner really has what they told you they have, since you don’t have a relationship with them, beyond possibly sharing a diagnosis in the same area of medicine.

You don’t need to confess to your sibling that you believe their partner is lying about their diagnosis because someone in their family said they have something else (that someone maybe not being very informed because they are a family member, not the person in question).

If you need drama, read a book. Hoo boy, do those contain enough drama to last you for weeks if you’re a slow reader (no shame if you read slowly because of reasons, including savoring every page).

Anyway, I’m off my horse now. That was one wild ride into the psyche of the neurotypicals. Glad I don’t live there.